All the tea in China: Which tells how Carolus Mortdecai Van Cleaf set out to seek his fortune in London Town, on the high seas, in India, the treaty ... has no longitude and precious little latitude

Kyril Bonfiglioli, the groundbreaking satirist whose writing The New Yorker described as "an unholy collaboration between P. G. Wodehouse and Ian Fleming," was truly a writer ahead of his time. In this hilarious novel, Bonfiglioli takes us back in time to an ironical maritime romp--Master and Commander by way of Monty Python.

Inspired by a shotgun blast in the seat of his breeches, young Karli Van Cleef quits his native Holland to seek his fortune. He arrives in early Victorian London and soon he is turning a pretty profit. But Karli sees that true opportunity flowers in India's fields of opium poppies and the treaty ports of the China coast. So he takes a berth in an opium clipper hell-bent for the Indies.

It is a journey beset with perils. Karli is confronted by the mountainous seas, high-piled plates of curry, and the ferocious penalties of the Articles of War. He survives the malice of the Boers, the hospitality of anthropophagi, and the horrors of Lancashire cooking. En route he acquires some interesting diseases, dangerous friends and enemies, a fortune, and a wife almost as good as new.

Fans and newcomers alike will revel in this picaresque tale of the early years of one of the men who helped make Britain great--for a consideration.